Things which make me cry with laughter

Exhibit 1:
Charlie Brooker. Namely,
This Charlie Brooker column on Man vs Food. Now I love Man vs Food, and I am planning a pilgrimage to some of his temples, but I think I love Charlie Brooker more. I wish I could be this witty.

Exhibit 2:
Marie. More specifically, Marie trying to order her phone around. She got a phone with voice recognition software. Only problem, the software can't handle NZ accents at all. You are meant to be able to say "Text Simon" and dictate a text message to be sent to Simon.
It can't understand her, and thinks she is asking it to purchase tickets to Simon or somesuch. Well I laughed, anyway.

And because I spend most of my time thinking about food, check out my cottage pie. Not that you can see anything apart from potato, but this is still a work in progress.
I started by sweating leek and onion, added chili, beef mince, mushrooms, garlic and carrot in that order, and then dropped in a bit of tomato and some stock**. Mash on top is king edwards adulterated with much butter and parmesan.
I think the tomato lightened the liquids a bit too much, and this pie needs a bit of weight in the gravy. Maybe next time I might try slowly simmered beef shin, which would give it a bit of grunt.




**One giant step in quality assurance would be properly labelling my stocks when I freeze them - this might lead to more consistent cooking. I have a sneaking suspicion that some of the blocks at the back might be pheasant rather than chicken.