Donald Doderidge Baskerville (1921 - 2013)
Granddad died this morning, in the city of my birth. Although I am twelve thousand miles away, I draw solace from being in the city of his birth. Wandering the landscape of his youth. Hearing the church bells which accompanied his childhood.
His was a world of hurt toward the end. And yet, his final conscious moments were painless, accompanied by the priest who took Gran’s funeral. I like to think he died at peace.
My most vivid memory of Granddad is an image of Granddad and Gran holding hands. Little else remains, blurred like an unfocused photo. Late nineties – Hilary was there, Marie wasn’t. Yet. The grass underfoot burnt to the mid orange brown of an arid Wairarapa summer. Above all, I remember Granddad and Gran holding hands. After six decades, each still wanting physical contact from the other.
This is what I aspire to. My memories will fade further over time, but still I will remember them holding hands.
Was it easy for each of their 60 years together? Hell no. Granddad had a horrific war, getting sunk twice in Operation Pedestal, and Gran hated moving to New Zealand. And yet they grew closer over 60 years. This is what I aspire to.
Granddad chose to move to New Zealand after the war. This one binary choice has resonated through our family for over fifty years. Gran was enjoying their comfortable life in 1950s England, and didn’t want to leave. Granddad was convinced he could give his family a better future, so booked a ten pound ticket to New Zealand. Gran missed her extended family horribly, but as Granddad was an orphan he didn’t look back. Moving to New Zealand was the single greatest gift Granddad and Gran were able to give Don and Delia. Granddad was able to completely alter his life, pivoting from growing up an orphan in the East End to seeing both his children graduate from university.
If Gran and Granddad had stayed in the East End of the 1950s, would their children have gone to university? Highly unlikely. If they had stayed in the East End, would their grandchildren have gone to university? I would like to think so, but the odds aren’t too high. Would I have sung my way around the world, and had so many opportunities available to me? Not a chance. Is there any single choice I have made, or am likely to make, which will enrich the lives of so many people so dramatically? I don’t think so.
Fare thee well Granddad. I hope I enjoy as many years with my soulmate as you enjoyed with yours. This is what I aspire to.
